Diary10/03/00hehe ok so I just got up and read over what I wrote last night... I think I'll leave it unedited. I like how it doesn't make sense. 10/02/00 zzzzz Bleh.. school. That's pretty much all there is to it. I got cds today, which is well and good, but for one of them I order vinyl and they messed up and they left out a 7", too. I guess i'm not allowed to get recorqds. Most of the evening was spent on homework and redoing the photos page. Last night Ariel and I both had nightmares, which is weird because neither of us has had nightmares in quite a while. But nothing particulary bad happened today so I don't know what our subconsciousnesses were going on about. np: Ted Leo/the Pharmacists - treble in trouble. oh. my. god. buy it right this very instant. 9/30/00 this is the pressure that I love If I hadn't done my laundry and gone grocery shopping, I could have bragged about doing absolutely nothing all day. Ah well.. psst... I wrote some new music reviews too, but I'll write more tomorrow and post them all together 9/29/00 no more of that from you! I had fun today! I chilled at Ariel's. We kidnapped her mom and took her to Price Chopper. When we got back, we demanded ransom, but the only one there to pay it was Ariel so she paid it to herself and released her mom into her loving arms. Understand? Good. 9/28/00 but if you ever change your mind... For the sake of brevity, I'll combine all of the sentences I was going to write into one string of words. Irresponsible school money $100 of records need but not but room clean clean clean tests not study enough wake up tomorrow early take test test test almost over friday long day friday last day. np: Sportique - Black is a very popular colour 9/26/00 Talulah Gosh was a filmstar for a day So I failed miserably on my first test of the year. I haven't done that badly on a test in a long time. It was one of those ones where there was a lot of stuff to do, but I was finished way before time ran out because I couldn't figure anything else out. Everyone else I talked to (ok the one person I talked to, but he's smarter than me so it's ok) had the same problems as I did, so normally that would make things good, but it's not graded on a curve, so we're all just screwed. Ah well. I still have the three other math courses I'm taking this semister to fall back on. I ended up cooking for the first time since I've been at school today. Before, the furthest I ever got was making rice, but this time I made pasta with olive oil and balsemic vinegar and salt and pepper and spices and a twist tie but the twist tie was by accident. Eric shocked the world today (actually a few days ago, but I didn't find out until now) by getting a nose ring. Not even a side-of-the-nose nose ring, a middle-of-the-nose nose ring. Here's an artist's rendering np: Ida - will you find me 9/23/00 but we're rich with possibilities Today rocked. Ariel, Zak and I went to the thrift shop and I got the coolest batch of old skool hip hop 12" singles. I got: Busy Bee - "Making Cash Money" (Sugar Hill records! Kid Rock plagarized the fuck out of this song)All that plus a white lab coat for $8.50. Rad. After that, more chilling was done. We watched An American Tail (you know, with Fivel Mouskewitz and such) - I'm not too manly to admit that I love that movie. 9/23/00 I am patient as you are right So the Orange show last night was cool... once it got started =) Doors were at 8 but they didn't let us in until after 9 and the first band didn't start playing until after 10. And my batteries on my camera died. Suck. But, the Orange was awesome as always and they played new songs. I should write a review... On the way home Ariel and I sang along to Geoff Farina songs in her car. I usually never ever sing along with the stereo when other people are around, but I dunno, it just seemed like the right thing to do (and she started it anyway). Once I got back, there was a note on the door from my mom saying that Zak called and I should go over to his house right away, even if it's late. So I was like "oh shit what's wrong" but we just chilled. Coo cool. 9/21/00 lalala I hate being depressed at school on nights when I have big stacks of work to do. There's nothing I can do about it. That's not to say that today was horrible, or even bad, or even unpleasant. People on the secret stars list were exceptionally helpful with teaching me four-track stuff (even if I never managed to do what I set out to do in the first place) and nothing really horrible happened. I guess I'm just lonely... God, that's so pathetic, isn't it? I don't know, is there something I could do about it short of leaving this school? When I first got here, my answer was a vehement "no". I didn't want anything to do with living here. I think I've kept that sentiment, although the results of it are really eating away at who I am, or at least picture myself to be. I remember being happy a lot more often. Still, though, there's only two more days until the weekend, and Zak's coming back and there's an Orange show. Then a month after that I'll be going to Bard to see Ida, so it's not like my landscape is bleak towards the horizon, I'm just wallowing in mud at the moment. 9/20/00 ... I was going to say something, but I shouldn't. (I think I'm setting the record for nonsensical, cryptic diary entries this week) 9/19/00 they're back... np: the sound of jackhammers at 6:30 in the morning 9/18/00 september, I'm sorry So how do I celebrate the 11 month anniversary of having an online jounal? By ignoring it, of course (it was yesterday). I looked at the first month and I mentioned somewhere in there of having a self-imposed 3 day waiting period before I review a CD I got. Ya see, that wait has expanded to two months, that's all =) I just finished another big huge math assignment. This one was 14 pages of writing, but it wasn't so bad because I understood everything. Hurrah. I just heard someone in the hall scream "fuck!" in that peculiar manner of being slightly annoyed by something but being overjoyed at the opportunity to swear. darn kids. 9/16/00 I swear I would follow anything, just get me out of here (morning of sunday the 17th..) Yesterday was important. I'm still thinking, though. 9/15/00 don't look down because you might get scared (I'm actually writing this the morning of the 16th...) I had the strangest dream last night... for some reason I bought a motorcycle, but it was a weird motorcycle because the handles moved separately and you had to move them back and forth (sort of like rowing) to make it go. I was driving around with it and all of the sudden realized "I can't afford a motorcycle! I don't even like motorcycles!" and I went to try to return it and then I woke up. Huh. Yesterday was pretty ok. I mean, I had to get up early for 4 hours of classes, but considering, it was pretty good. For some reason I was amused by a phrase the whole day and I just barely stopped myself from blurting out laughing in a few of my classes. The phrase was "big goddamn mutton chops" and no, I don't know how it got there. I also bought myself a spiffy new cd burner. Now I don't have to worry about all of my pictures going poof if my hard drive does. yay! I really hate CompUSA though. The last thing I want to do when I'm buying something for my computer is to have the guy at the counter harass me for having a Mac. I can't stand it. The worst part is that he probably got commission from me. Grrrrr... Also also also! I found my copy of Shake the Pounce by Gaze. I bought it around the day it came out and lost it after listening to it once. So, after however many months/years/centuries, it showed up in my basement. It's a great weight off of my shoulders to know that CDs don't pop out of existence. np: Gaze - Shake the Pounce (like I had to write that) 9/14/00 I'm sure you all want to hear about my homework... I'm so proud of myself - instead of giving up on the theoretical physics homework that's due tomorrow that seemed impossible earlier on today, I actually took the time to learn everything to the point where I understood every twisted little symbol I wrote out. And I even know that I got everything right since we were doing fourier transformations (the details of which I won't bore you with), so I could compare my work to the original thing and they matched up! Yay! It has left me kinda tired though - it was a long process of hunting through textbooks and kicking myself in the face that has pretty much gone on all day. But! Tomorrow! Friday! Tomorrow! Home! Yay! 9/12/00 I remember these... So this was one of those do-nothing-but-feel-tired-at-the-end days that I remember from last year. I handed in my big huge math assignment in return for another big huge math assignment due next week. I hate cycles. Ariel mentioned that she was listening to Ida in her new car. I wish I had my very own car in which to listen to Ida... 9/11/00 I seem to think it's shame I see I..I..I.. think this whole union is a shame Here's the thing: in my multivariable calculus and matrix algebra class, we get what the professor estimates is 10 hours of homework every week, which is all due on tuesday. I, the fool that I am, left it all for today and verified that, yes, it is about ten hours of work. I have almost all of it done, but the day has sort of gone to waste. At least I didn't get woken up by a jackhammer this morning. I actually slept a lot last night - from 10:30 to 8:30. Zoiks. I really really really need to write more music reviews and soon. I feel so bad for all the people that have sent me stuff to review, plus there are so many wonderful albums I've bought in the past month or so that I really should share, ya know? I should have written some on saturday, but I chose to spend it being self-indulgently miserable instead. Really, if I ever get like that again just send me an email telling me to shut the hell up. The world doesn't need any more people like Conor Oberst. Oh, and I didn't mention this in my diary yet even though the plans have been solid-ish for quite a while: Ariel and I are going to travel down to Bard college on October 20th to see Ida and Low. And visit Zak, of course. What a convenient little package! np:The Holy Childhood - Up With What I'm Down With 9/10/00 When you're awake for days, what is sleep? Uh... I feel better now. Even though today was annoying. Ariel apparently had planned on chilling with me today, which is cool and all, except I was no longer in town. Damn and blast. I devoted the day to sprucing up my room (aka putting up more glow-in-the-dark stars and reorganizing) and playing video games. Not too productive, but I didn't want to be very productive today. Tomorrow starts the beginning of my first real full week of classes: the first week doesn't count since things are just starting, the second didn't because it was only four days. Now we can really see how well I'll do. If I get woken up by a jackhammer this morning, the consequences will be dire and swift. np: my just oh-so-slightly warped out of tough love self-titled Karate LP 9/9/00 ... I was depressed all day. All of my friends are hundreds of miles away. I'm taking nothing but math classes at school. I'm so stupidly, pointlessly shy that I'll go almost whole days without hearing a human voice that directed specifically at me. Why shouldn't I be depressed? When I was at school last year, I kept myself moderately happy by making plans and dreams for when I could escape there. Most of the time they never happened and every hope I had just fell away until I would go through periods where I was so blinded by an impenetrable dark cloud of apathy and despair that I couldn't see what I was doing anymore. It's nice to see that some things never end. Now if I could only remember how I used to get out. I bought my groceries for the week today: tofu hotdogs and imitation cream cheese. Nothing was real. You are what you eat, they say. 09/08/00 look what you did. you made nick cry. 5:41am: This time, the jackhammer woke me up at 5:15. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have to get through four hours of class today. This whole freaking day is going to go to waste now, there's no way that I can recover. [long string of naughty words] np: the tortured screams of concrete as it is repeatedly stabbed by a big metal spike 9/07/00 but they would just fly and get by anyway Things Nick does to avoid finishing his theoretical physics homework: - makes rice - cleans his phone - calls Ariel - updates his diary 9/07/00 #&@%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6:57am: This is the second day in a row that I've awoken to a jackhammer outside my window at 6:30 in the morning. If it happens again tomorrow, I'm going to kill the guy, then I'm going to kill his whole family, and then I'm going to kill all their friends. np: BANGABANGABANGABANGABANGABANGABANGABANGA... 9/05/00 take it in stride, butterfly I think I'm getting closer to having my life in order. That's good, right? Now all I have to do is start replying to the big pile of emails that I have so rudely put of replying to for weeks. I think a few are at the point where it has been so long that it would be weird for me to write back, but what the heck. I think I truly am a more functional human being this year than last. Last night, I was awoken by gunfire. It was just Quake gunfire though, so I was annoyed but not scared. Anyway, it was keeping me awake - so I did the unimaginable - I both introduced myself to my neighbor and asked a favor of him. Now, all of you normal humans don't see the big deal, however last year I dug myself a big antisocial hole that kept me from socializing on even the most basic levels when I was at school. I'm beginning to peek out of that hole on occaision now. I might step out of it if the timing is right. As for other news, Ariel starts her first day of 11th grade tomorrow. I know that 11th grade was my worst year, as it's the one with the most pressure to get good grades and the introduction of the fear of going to college. However, she's better adjusted than me and will be fine. So there. I realized something: math is hard. That doesn't mean it's not doable, but I have to give it attention, which is annoying when all I want to do is finish Final Fantasy. np: The Parcels - Have a Go With The Parcels 9/04/00 Today's big issue: what if you could make another life? School to home to zak's to home to school. I've ignored my journal and haven't talked enough to my friends who are far away. I've been busy but lazy at the same time and I've been doing math for hours and I hate it hate it hate it but I'm almost done. Ariel is one of the few people in the world that I can wake up with a phone call and still talk with for an hour without being scolded. I need to take better care of my website. When I get a handle on being alive at school I will. I swear! np: Ida - Will You Find Me (which was in a different city than me for the past week because I am stupid.) 9/01/00 Today's big issue: *grumble grumble sigh* Oh, good job nick of keeping this page up to date, eh? This has been one of the not-worst-but-definitely-not-a-great-time-est weeks of my life. Less than a week into school and I've already been up way too late finishing an assignment. I'm in my first class of the morning at the moment, which is 8:56 and I'm tired already. I have four hours of class today - I hope I can make it through them. At least I go home later on when it's all finished, and Zak will be there eventually. I have monday off, too, so that helps. Ariel will be back by then (she went to long island to visit her grandpappy) I've been typing the letter n by accident all throughout this entry... I wonder what it will read like aftr I'm actually awake - is it even in English? np: some weird annoying hum from the ceiling 8/28/00 Today's big issue: ... ... ?! So yeah, I'm at school now. I moved back yesterday. My room isn't so bad, I guess. It's tiny tiny tiny, but I have it all to myself so I can't really complain about anything. I still haven't met anyone in my dorm. Everyone here seems to keep to themselves, which I suppose is preferable to having to hear hair metal mp3s at two in the morning, but it would be nice to see more people around. It's just the first day, though. So on saturday I went up to Eric's camp. Zak was coming there, too - him from the north, me from the south, neither of us having discussed a definite time to come there. I ended up being behind him on the road to the camp - there's no way that could have happened if we planned it. Anyway, we acted very boy-ishly - we played with Eric's bb gun and his bow and arrows and threw mud at rocks. I went home for the night and zak stayed there... and then the next day, both Zak and I went off to our respective schools. He'll be back for the weekend, and so will I, though. Oddly enough, Ariel will be away, visiting her grandfather on long island. I had my first class today, too. Intro to Logic. It wan't that bad, but the professor wasn't there, so another guy filled in for him. He apparently does this a lot - he's going to be gone for the next class, too. Oh well. I have to go to two math classes today... np: The Boyish Charms - The Extended-Playing Paradox 8/21/00 Today's big issue: I'm in a hollow rooo-oo-oom I... I packed today. My stereo and most of my CDs are sitting in boxes in the back of the Suburban Attack Vehicle, waiting to be brought to RPI. Yucky. While I was putting stuff in there, a bird thought that it was a good idea to fly through the door I had propped open and get stuck inside my house. It wasn't. The poor thing was terrified and smashing into walls and squaking while we tried to think of a way to get it to leave. It wouldn't go back towards the door for some reason and instead kept running into walls - I was so afraid that it was going to break its neck. I eventually put a towel over it and as gently as I could picked it up and let it go outside - it flew away fine... I hope it's ok. It was the cutest little blackbird; I'm sure it's a lot cuter when it's not throwing itself against my walls in terror... After that little incident, Ariel picked me up and brought me over to Zak's where we all watched The Three Amigos. I still love that movie. Oh, go ahead, laugh, see what I care. np: Complete and utter silence as I stare at the empty space where my stereo usually lives. 8/20/00 Today's big issue: whatcha eat whatcha eat whatcha eat as an alien Yesterday was full of plot twists. Matt, who never really was good with dates or times, missed his plane back to college, so he was back in town for another day, although none too pleased about it, I assume... Zak, Matt and I went to a thrift shop because I decided that I don't like my winter jacket anymore and I wanted to get one there, since last time we went there was an endless supply of really cool ones (even capes!) but this time there was nothing. Matt walked away with a direct-drive Technics turntable for ten dollars though... A bit later, I went, for the first time, inside of Al's house. I've been outside of her house before, even on her porch, but never... inside. Eventually, Zak, Kevin Eric and I were all there. Her kitty put on quite a show of coughing up a hairball. It was disgusting but strangely cute. After that, we had Kool Aid and drew robots. np: The Secret Stars - self titled LP 8/19/00 Today's big issue: who were you, then? Yesterday was the "goodbye Matt" party at Zak's house - it was really a goodbye everybody party but since Matt is the first to go back, it was on the night before he goes back. That's right, he's on a plane to New Mexico right now. I don't like this. College is coming back already... I have so much stuff to do - I was supposed to learn matrix algebra on my own some time this summer, and I haven't even opened the book yet... Ah well. Going back to school will be weird because my whole concept of time has been summerized. Things that happened months ago seem like they happened yesterday and I never know what date or day of the week it is. Whee. Ariel suggested that we stop all of this "going to college" nonsense. I agree. I don't know how we're going to pull it off, though =) np: Ida - Will You Find Me 8/15/00 Today's big issue: dadadadaaaaah Ariel comes home tomorrow - and actually, since it's after midnight, I can say Ariel comes home TODAY!!!! Ok, so I just saw her two days ago, but still! Otherwise, I didn't really do all that much today - Zak and I both finally beat the Zelda games we had been working on - Nintendo 64 version for him, Super Nintendo for me. Those games are so cute! ...except for the enourmous, fire throwing, blue pig at the end. np: Of Montreal - The Bedside Drama: A Petite Tragedy 8/14/00 Today's big issue: [random Ida quote] So who would have thought that spending six hours in a minivan with your best friend's mom could be fun? I had a blast on my little day trip up to see Ariel for the Second time in a week. She comes back on wednesday, too. Heehee I spend 12+ hours in a car in an 8 day period to see someone who comes home in 2 days anyway. I'm such an obsessive dork about my friends. Anyway, she was in a play this time - it was The Music Man which is kitchy as heck but it was fun. She sang in it! She was singing solo for a bit! I was so proud... =) So today, Zak, Eric and I went and bought a lawn for Zak. You see, a long time ago, Eric gave Zak a lawn gnome, but he never had anything of his own to put it on, so they have been planning and plotting some way for Zak to get just enough of a lawn to give him a proper home. The original plan was to steal a patch of lawn from one of the richer suburbs, and then it changed to stealing it from a golf course, but those never worked out, so they broke down and bought a little patch of sod. Zak had a specially designed box for it, firetruck red with handles, that's just waiting to be filled. He even had some lawn left over for his sister. After that, we rented... The Wizard! You know, it's that movie with Fred Savage that's basically a big advertisement for Nintendo? I saw that movie in the theatre! I'm a dork! np: Ida - Will You Find Me The older entries are here... |
